Tears and Kisses
by Annabel de Lioncourt
Summary: Just before the battle at the end of HBP, Remus finds Tonks alone at the Three Broomsticks, almost back together again, their romance is witnessed by someone and that may have fatal consequences


**This takes place right before Harry and Dumbledore stop back at Rosemerta's before the battle at the astronomy tower. Prompted by gurugirl's questioning of what should happen next in her story, I got this idea then. Was that bad grammer? Eh, who cares it's just the author's note anyway**

**I do not own HP and do not make any earnings by posting this. save for the fact that I'm going to be earning a D on that history paper I should be writing… instead of playing with RLNT (or NTRL as I once called it) plot bunnies**

**Rated T for excessive snogging and Tonks's semi-naughty thoughts later on.**

_I'm going to die w_as the first thought that hit me.

It was over. He just didn't…want…to be….with me. I wasn't the only person there, many people were coming in to the sure to come rain when they started to hear thunder and lightning like I did, but I sat in the three broomsticks alone with a butterbeer that I was sorely regretting. Should've asked for firewhiskey, something, _anything_ to dull my nerves. Though I don't think the heart has nerves. _Oh,_ I thought _I have an idea, Remus is smart, he'd know if the heart has nerves._ But he wasn't here now. Besides he'd just say 'oh don't be silly Nymphadora,' give me the answer and then say 'the brain is where all emotion comes from anyway, even though the ancient Egyptians believed that the heart did all the thinking'. Sweet Merlin, I spend too much time with him. Used to. Used to spend too much—no…it wasn't too much, it wasn't enough time.

I looked up from twirling my drink around with my complained to Rosemerta that the lively renaissance music she had playing didn't help my mood much, and she replied curtly that if I wanted a drearier atmosphere I could go over to the hogshead. I said sorry, but after a few more minutes she sat down behind the counter in front of me

"What's wrong with you, lovey? I remember you from when I first bought this place, you and you're friends coming in here. you used to morph into the brightest thing in the room."

"It's just this whole war, my work, and Dumbledore needed to talk to me about something and he's not back yet. Severus said he won't be back until tonight."

"That Snape fellow is another one. Always depressed. I think he lost someone, but that's just my theory. Now tell me what's wrong with you, your just as torn up as he is."

"I told you already it's just the d*** war that's all."

"No its not. someone ate your heart out, no tell me what happened."

"Old fool…"

"older man? How old?"

"Thirty-six." I said, not wanting to share my personal information with Rosemerta, even if I was sorta friends with her for awhile.

"Sweet Circe of Greece, its not Severus?" a flash of anger went up in her eyes. Shock?...or was that… _Jealousy_?

"H*** no." he was my _teacher_." Never mind he's the same age as Remus, it would still be too weird. Not to mention he was, well, _Snivellous_. Alright, Sirius was right. I am a Black whether I like it or not.

"Good"

"Why's that good?"

"He…well, we're talking about your past not mine."

"Okay…" well I'm not sleeping tonight. Not that I had gotten any sleep for the past year.

"Tonks, what'd he do to you?" she sighed. The long mirror behind the bar was mostly covered by racks of liquors and shelves of various types of alcohol, most of the people who'd walk through the door wouldn't been seen in it, unless they were taller. I only mention this because I got a view of the eyes up of a man walking in the door. A pair of eyes that've looked at me with humor, friendship, longing, love and even lust. The hair on either side of those dark, tired eyes was the same hair that I knotted my hands in while its owner kissed me like it was the only thing keeping him in this life.

"-he left. I'm sorry I have to go- something for- sorry." I said trying to get up, but it was too late, through the mirror I could see those eyes light up alive with shock, joy, then pain all in that order of transition. He twitched a moment, as if he was going to run back out the door but he continued in and sat down next to me. before we were together, that made me blush, made my temperature rise. Once we were together, I still blushed and my temperature rise, but for a few different reasons.

"Hello Tonks." Rosemerta smiled at what she just thought was another customer.

"Wotcher Remus."

"'ello Mr. Lupin, what can I do for you?" She asked.

"Hot cocoa."

"Extra chocolate?"

"yes." He forced out a smile.

"Anything else?"

"I'm paying for hers too." As soon as Rosemerta walked away I spoke to him, but kept my eyes on my drink.

"So I thought you were too poor to go out anywhere, and too much of an outcast to go about the decent wizarding world."

"I tutored her in Transfiguration, she was several years behind me."

"So is she old enough for you?" I asked with venom

"Nymphadora…no she's not. Seven years is too much."

"Do you realize what I'd give to be seven years younger than you?" I really could convince him if the difference was only that. Then again we both knew that though it wasn't very smart to fall in love with that much of a difference, the age issue was the last of his concerns by now.

"Please don't start this again. I can't handle this again."

"I love you. You don't love me. I found my soul mate. You just found another girlfriend, it's over."

"_Never_ once did I tell you I don't." Rosemerta heard our hushed voices, not clearly but enough that she gave us an odd look before coming back over with Remus's chocolate.

"Here you go."

"Thank you, Rose." He tried to hand her a couple of knuts but she turned them down.

"You don't come in here often, and teachers get free drinks anyway." I had a strong urge to call her a b****

"Thank you again," she walked away and he blew softly on the steaming drink. His slightly pursed lips reminded me of the feel of them on my neck and I involuntarily shivered at the memory

"How much longer, Remus?"

"Until what?"

"Either one of us dies, or gives up." He took up the mug and drank from it. I loved the chocolate here, and though a firewhiskey laced one might be just what I needed, I'd settle for dry.

"Tonks…for your sake I hope that you give up and move on with your life. When the war's over you can start to trust people again and find someone who can care for you like I never could…" I couldn't stand that smoldering look he was giving me. I remember… Sirius… he told me that Remus had never been so serious (no pun. I'm not in the mood for humor) with a girl before. Ever. _"Not to really freak you out but give him a year, he just might want to, you know, get hitched even…"_

"But…" I kept going for him. I took up his mug and drank from it in the same spot he did, enjoying the taste of him mingled with chocolate (which is what his kisses were usually flavored of anyway) I hadn't tasted that in a year.

"For my own selfish reasons I hope that I fall apart first and take you for myself." He did exactly what I did with the chocolate. He grinned at the taste before looking back to me.

"I hope that too."

"Oh baby…" pet names. Hadn't heard those in awhile.

"Forget it. I can't take this." I dropped a sickle on the counter and headed for the door, Remus followed me.

"Please don't, Tonks," I was already walking away

"Don't what?" I had no intention of ignoring him, but at the same time…

"Leave. I want to talk to you."

"I thought you didn't want us to do anything, to be anything" he threw his arms around me, right there at the corner of the property of the three broom sticks. There was a tree over a few feet away, and as I felt a rain drop hit me we both headed for its cover.

"Nymphadora, if you saw the things I have the past couple of months you'd know why I can't be anywhere near you. They don't just kill, they _destroy_ people. If you think that I'd risk that happening to you, then you have no idea how much I love you." he pulled away a few inches, looking down at me, I stood up tall as I could before I kissed him full on the mouth.

He responded the same way that I started it, it was so much like how we used to, it was bitter, more bitter than I could stand, but there was no way I could separate from him, with a tight hold on me so I didn't trip and knock us both over he lowered us slowly to the ground, his back against the trunk of the tree, I on his lap, totally melting away in his constant kisses. I got such a high from this I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to sleep with him. I never slept with someone before, but before my roommate got married, and moved out, she'd stay at her fiancé's house sometimes. She said that love is unlike anything in the world if it's with the right someone.

I recognized every last detail of his mouth, the feel of his tongue in mine, the touches were so familiar and so welcome after so long that I didn't hear someone coming up behind us.

"Aw…look at the wittlle blood traitor's spawn. And her pet." _OhGodohGodohGod! _That was a voice I never wanted to hear ever again. Remus stood up and over me, his wand out, I reached for mine.

"_Oh_…" she said with a look in her eyes and a sound in her voice of one who just had the found out the end of a mystery film. "You're not her pet…you're her dog and she's your _mate_, I believe they'd call that a bitch?" the level of disgust in her voice made me sick. Who was she to think of us as vile?

"Swear to God, Lestrange, move and I'll kill you." I knew he would, he hated violence, fighting, and never wanted to hurt anyone, but he knew that it was for the cause of the order, and he told me that the thought of there being a world where there is no war was enough to keep him going.

"Lupin? It is that isn't it? The two of you are so sweet…she having your wittle baby puppies? Itty monsters? She's just a wittle baby herself though, too bitty to mate." wordlessly Remus tried to stun her.

" I don't have time to prune a family tree, I'm not here for you…though I'm sure you'll be at the party later." She apparated away.

"What was that about?"

"Tonks go to your parents"

"You can't tell me what to—"

"She saw us! You think she hated you before, now what!"

"Remus not now we need to get to the school—look." I pointed up towards the school. There were a few flashes of light from the astronomy tower before finally, a flash of green. Someone was falling off the tower.

**AN: Bellatrix didn't apparate to the school, just away from them; also I know that it kinda came as a shock to her that Tonks and Remus got married but I'm just going to go with the fact that she knew what was going on and was just bluffing. At least for the sake of this story.**

**One other thing. Do you know what's sad? When a friend of yours**_** who doesn't read harry potter or know what fanfiction is**_** knows what RLNT is when you say 'oh I played around with some RLNT plot bunnies instead of doing homework'**


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